“I Ran for Pope”

My 2013 campaign to become Pope

Q) You’re just an ordinary schmuck. What made you think you had a chance to be Pope? You weren’t even a cardinal.

A) Actually, the custom that the College of Cardinals would choose among themselves is a relatively recent phenomenon, from the Fourteenth Century–that’s like yesterday in ecclesiastical time. Technically, to be the Pontiff, you only have to be a baptized Roman Catholic male. I qualify.

Q) Wasn’t yours the first campaign ever run on the internet?

A) Look at my situation. I first had to get my name in front of those assembling in Rome. I figured if I got 10,000 “likes” on Facebook that the cardinals would have to pay attention. I got 23. Bad planning on my part. I should have used Twitter.

Twitter: twitter.com/Jerry_Griswold
Facebook: www.facebook.com/griswold.jerry

Q) Let’s assume you had become Pope. How would things be different?

A) Well, first off, I’d make it a part-time job. I’ve looked into the duties and there really aren’t that many. Mostly, occasional blessings. An encyclical here and there. Second, the Holy See would be moved. San Diego has much better weather than Rome. My slogan would be: “It’s not your parents’ Church anymore.”